Guys. It’s MMMMAAAAYYYYY! I mean, I want to shout it from the roof tops. The sun is shining, the warm air finally made its way here, there is vegetables and seeds to get planted, enough mulching to last a lifetime. It’s May! It’s also that month that I look at my calendar, and thank God it’s not written in red ink because it would look like someone was bleeding out. How many things can we cram into this month?
When I woke up today, I realized my to do list was going off the rails, but I was just going to try to get thru as much of it as I could because everyday this month feels like the to do list if going off the rails. Then I picked the boys up from school. I had gone to work which is not my usual schedule, and they have half day on Wednesday, so I didn’t have their lunches with me either. They both immediately asked could we go to Chick-fil-a. It was the easy option. Kinda.
In today’s episode of Things I Am Sick Of Saying, I give you these.
1. “Keep your hands to yourself!” Why? Why? Why? For the love of all that is holy, why can you not stop touching each other? In the bathroom brushing teeth, in the car, at the dinner table, watching tv, doing homework, getting changed, just waiting for the ice cream cone at CFA, and the list goes on. Just stop. Just get off of each other for one dang second. Is it too much to ask? Yes, yes it is. I know it is. I know because I ask you all day long. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, I ask you. Then I tell you. Then I yell at you. Yet, you still touch each other. All. The. Time.
This week I had to reimplement that no-punching-each-other-in-the-penis rule. When you have two boys, any boys for that matter, that’s a thing. Until one of them throws up I guess?
2. “Flush the toilet.” Dear Jesus, Please, when the L’s go off one day and marry lovely women, please let those women see that everyday I said these words. Please let them know that I didn’t give up age 2 when they were potty training, or age 3 or 5 or 7 or 9. Please let them know that I will continue to say these words as long as the L’s live in this house, in hopes that one day they remember on their own, and if they don’t may these women know it wasn’t because I didn’t say these words EVERY. FREAKING. DAY.
3. “I said, ‘STOP’!” First it starts with, “Stop.” Then, “Stop it!” Then, “Boys, stop.” Then, “BOYS! STOP!” And then I am yelling, “I SAID ‘STOP’!” Then they turn, like deer in headlights, and say, “You did? We didn’t hear you.” Or the classic, “You don’t have to yell at us.”
You know what you’re absolutely right, I don’t have to yell, but if I want a response from you, it sometimes feels like it’s my only option.
Until Volume 3.
xo,
AT